How Should I Handle Dessert?

Solving feeding problems Solving Feeding problems What if I need more help? How Should I Handle Dessert? The Finicky Child The Overweight Child The Poor Eater What if my child won't eat vegetables?

This is a difficult question for many parents. Often, dessert time turns into a high-stakes negotiation session. The parents set out a series of tasks the child must perform to get dessert and the child bargains for fewer tasks and more dessert. Bargaining about food doesn't help children. It teaches them that dessert is better than broccoli. In their minds, if they have to eat broccoli to get dessert, then dessert must be wonderful and broccoli not so good. It's much better to put a single serving of dessert at your child's place when you set the table. This goes for the child you fear is getting fat, as well. Then at mealtime, let your child choose when to eat the dessert. Make it something nutritious, like fruit, oatmeal cookies, or custard. Don't allow ''seconds.'' Your child might eat the dessert first, still feel hungry, and go on to eat the rest of the meal. Or he might eat a bite of dessert, then a bite of the rest of the meal. Or he might do it the standard way: eat everything else and save the dessert for the end. At first, when he's testing you, your child may ask for a second helping of dessert, not get it, and leave the table. Later on, he'll find out that he's still hungry, and it's a long wait until snack time. The next time, he'll take eating more seriously. Your child may even throw a tantrum, to try to get you to give in. Don't give in. Remind your child that that's all the dessert there is for this meal, and that it will be a while before snack time. Only when you hold firm will your child learn that there is a structure and certain limits with eating. Your child doesn't have to go hungry—there is plenty of other food. He just can't have all the sweets he wants. Child care centers and school nutrition programs use this setting-the-table-with-dessert method. It works well, and avoids the dessert struggle. If you withhold dessert to get your child to eat his vegetables, he may overeat twice: once to get his meal down, and again when he eats dessert after he's already full. For a comprehensive set of educational materials that teach stage-related feeding and solve feeding problems, see ELLYN SATTER'S FEEDING IN PRIMARY CARE PREGNANCY THROUGH PRESCHOOL: Easy-to-Read Reproducible Masters (4th grade reading level, English and Spanish) and ELLYN SATTER'S NUTRITION AND FEEDING FOR INFANTS AND CHILDREN: Handout Masters (7th grade reading level, English only). Copyright © 2005 by Ellyn Satter. For more about feeding your child, see Ellyn Satter’s How To Get Your Kid To Eat... But Not Too Much. For permission to reproduce this handout, call (800)808-7976 or e-mail info@ellynsatter.com

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