August 1, 2005
FAMILY MEALS FOCUS #5
Interpreting the news and research about feeding and eating

HELPING FAMILIES GET BACK TO THE TABLE

Family meals are critically important for children's nutritional well-being, to allow them to grow properly, and to give them the security and guidance they need to do well in life. To encourage ourselves and others to have family meals, start with structure first and let concerns about food selection wait until structure is thoroughly in place. For most families, that can take a year or more.

Parents who currently short-order cook for their children or let them graze on pizza, chicken nuggets, sodas and chips will have an uphill battle if they start by offering broiled chicken, fat-free vegetables and whole grain rice. To entice families to the table as well as keep up the day-in-day-out effort of having family meals, those meals have to be richly rewarding to plan, prepare, serve and eat. Here is what to emphasize with parents to help them make meals worthwhile:

Eat what you are eating now, just have it at regular meal- and snack-times. Change the how of feeding now; worry about the what later. Pizza makes a fine meal, so do chicken nuggets and chips. Throw in some milk and you have a meal. If the shock of drinking milk is too great, make the beverage (gasp) soda. Remember, the priority is structure.

Give sit-down snacks between times. For children and grownups to arrive at the table hungry and ready to eat, they can't have free access to food or drinks between times,except for water. Once again, start by including snack-type food,even if it is ''forbidden food'',at regular, sit-down meals and snacks.

Plan meals with 4 or 5 food items. Put the food in serving dishes on the table and let eaters pick and choose. Don't cater. Don't try to predict what your child will eat,what she eats one day, she won't another. Don't try to get her to eat,it will spoil the meal for everyone. Let her down when she gets full, and don't give in to her food-begging between times.

Give time and reassurance with new foods. Once the cook is ready to experiment with broadening out the menu, reassure everyone they don't have to eat,or even taste,the new food. Name the food, say you like it, say ''you can try it if you want but you don't have to.'' Pair familiar with unfamiliar foods, favorite with not-yet-favorite. Know that at most meals, children eat only 2 or 3 foods and what they eat one day, they don't another.

Understand how children,and grownups,learn to like new food. Having regular family meals means that the same foods will show up again and again on your family table and your child will sneak up on those foods and learn to like them. Your child will look and watch you eat, but not taste. He will allow the food beside,or on,his plate but won't taste it. He will put the food in his mouth and take it out again. Eventually, he will get comfortable enough with the taste and texture that he will like it and eat it,sometimes.

For more help with managing family meals, see Ellyn Satter's Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family.

Family Meals Focus by Ellyn Satter, MS, RD, LCSW, BCD. discusses trends, research and clinical issues in eating and feeding and interprets other research from a feeding-dynamics, eating-competence perspective. For past issues of Family Meals Focus, click here.

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