Home => Newsletters => January 21, 2009 • Family Meals Focus #33 • Toddler feeding: The child who won't eat table food
January 21, 2009
FAMILY MEALS FOCUS #33
Interpreting the news and research about feeding and eating� November's newsletter reminded you that the toddler period can make or break family meals. At times, the toddler period can push parents to have
family meals.
Consider twelve-month-old Owen, who was quite happy with his bottle and not in the least interested in table food. Owen ate in a catch-as-catch-can fashion, just the same as his parents. I told Owen's parents that for him to learn to eat, they had to show him what eating was all about: they had to have meals.
To their credit, they did it. It took a lot of planning to figure out dinners around their complicated work schedules, and they had to be insistent that their child care provider get Owen up to the table along with the other children. Owen didn't give them a lot of encouragement. Although he enjoyed being at the table with his parents, he was slow to take an interest in the food. The first solid food he ate willingly was Town House crackers, which he bit off and gagged on rather terrifyingly, but went back for more. Ever so slowly, he developed an interest in other food.
Owen's disinterest in food had a history. His parents had been trying to introduce solid food since age six months, and he simply did not cooperate. His mother got a little pushy with him, trying to get the spoon in his mouth before he indicated an interest, and keeping on trying to feed him after he turned away. Was it her fault, or was Owen overly skeptical? Maybe a little of both.
Six-month-old Milo's parents didn't get pushy, but he was the same way. He rejected spoon feeding. He would only explore his baby cereal when he was allowed to do it himself, even if he couldn't. So his parents filled the spoon, handed it to him, and let him wipe cereal on his face, his clothes and his chair. They thickened the cereal and put a pile of it on his high-chair tray, and let him struggle to put it in his mouth. They gave him hard little teething biscuits and let him chew on them. They kept hoping that he, like his friend Martha, would learn to put his mouth on the tray and push the food in with his hand, but he never did. It was a frustrating and messy couple of months, but finally Milo developed enough finger control to pick up Cheerios and other small pieces of food. At long last he was on his way! By eight months he was feeding himself a variety of soft table food, and by a year he enthusiastically finger-fed himself whatever they put before him.
No two sets of toddler feeding problems are the same. Most of them occur because of a series of unfortunate events.
Grownups don't eat meals. Children want to grow up with eating, the same as with everything else. Unless his grownups eat meals, the toddler may not know what being grownup with eating is all about. Missed opportunities. Introducing table food goes best at the
almost-toddler
stage,�when the child wants desperately to do it himself and hasn't yet developed toddler skepticism. But to be ready to introduce table food, parents need some success with starting solids stage. That is easier with some children than with others. Earlier feeding and/or health problems.� Owen had been slow to get started on breastfeeding, he was
small and he grew slowly
.He didn't seem to
eat much,
even after he got going on table food. These characteristics made his parents pushy, and their pushiness made it more difficult for Owen to learn. Parents scared off by gagging. A gagging child's mouth strains, his face turns red, and he may even vomit. But he can breathe; a choking child can not. Knowing emergency procedures helps parents keep their nerve with gagging. Coming up:
FMF #34 Toddler feeding: Relapse
FMF # 35 Toddler feeding: The child who ''can't get filled up'' Copyright � 2009 by Ellyn Satter. Published at
www.EllynSatter.com. Rights to
reproduce: As long as you leave it unchanged, you don�t charge for it, and you include the entire copyright statement, you may reproduce this article. Please let us know you have used it by sending a website link or an electronic copy to info@ellynsatter.com. Please recommend Family Meals Focus to your family and friends. If you like, point your browser to�http://www.ellynsatter.com/contact.jsp�where you'll find an easy sign-up form. DISCLAIMER: The information contained in Family Meals Focus is intended to inform our readers about issues relating to feeding dynamics in general and family meals in particular. It is not intended to replace specific advice from a health care professional. Copyright 2008 Ellyn Satter **********************************************
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Copyright © 2012 by Ellyn Satter. Published at www.EllynSatter.com.
Rights to reproduce: As long as you leave it unchanged, you don't charge for it, and you include the entire copyright statement, you may reproduce this article. Please let us know you have used it by sending a website link or an electronic copy to info@ellynsatter.com.
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