My correspondents have been encouraging me to approach Mrs. Obama about the feeding dynamics model and child overweight. In the spirit of responsible speaking out, I chose as my theme the concern that we all have about her child obesity campaign: Help without harming.

Today, March 3, 2010, I posted my message, below, on http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact. My hope is that you will speak out as well and that together, we can make an impact. Let's send Mrs. Obama a blizzard of messages about the topic!

Here is what I have in mind for our email blizzard.

• Call it a policy/other and put the To and Re in the message box. (Your name goes in other boxes.) Use same heading I did, Child Obesity; Help Without Harming, and post your message.
• Keep it short,somewhere on the order of 250 to 400 words. (Actually, 2500 characters,about 400 words,is the maximum the site will accept.) Your short, heart-felt message will have an impact.
• Start off with a sentence that summarizes your message, then develop it.
• Address one aspect of the topic. Each of us will choose different aspects and together, we will cover what is important.
• Send this newsletter to your fellow travelers (that is, other proponents of the feeding dynamics model), and encourage them to post their message.

Here are some suggestions for your message:

• Did I miss something that you think is important? What do you have to add?
• What was it like for you as a child to be on the receiving end of someone's child obesity campaign?
• Did you try to slim down your child? What was that like for you and for your child? What made you quit?
• Are you resisting others pressures to slim down your child? Why? What makes it difficult?
• What has it been like for you as a health professional to ''help'' with the slimming process? What made you quit - or ready to quit if you only could?
• Address research or nutritional principles that argue against targeting child overweight.
• Copy or condense something from one of my books or articles, say where it is from, and say why it made an impact on you.
• Copy something from my website, say why you like it, and say where it is from. Maybe, oh frabjous day, she will get on the site, learn something, and take it to heart!

Copy your message to me.I would love to see what you write, and will post it on my website if you want me to. Send it to feedback@ellynsatter.com. Use your name and credentials as you want them posted. I won't be able to post anonymous contributions.

To: First Lady Michelle Obama
Re: Child obesity: Help without harming
From: Ellyn Satter

As a Family Therapist and Registered Dietitian, in the 45 years I have been helping people with eating/feeding/weight issues, I have made most of the mistakes. I had the luxury of erring in the privacy of my clinical office. You don't have that luxury. Please accept my insights about what works,and what doesn't,with respect to addressing child obesity and, more importantly, achieving our mutual goal of letting children be all they can be.

Don't talk about child obesity. Research shows that children who are labeled overweight or obese feel flawed in every way,not smart, not physically capable and not worthy. Parents who fear obesity hesitate to gratify their child's hunger for fear s/he will get fat. Such labeling is not only counterproductive, it is unnecessary. From birth, child obesity can be prevented,and treated,by maintaining a division of responsibility (DOR) in feeding: Parents do the what, where, when of feeding and children do the how much and whether of eating. The DOR is recognized by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Food and Nutrition Service of the USDA and its programs (WIC, School Nutrition, Child Care Food Program), Public Health, Head Start, and CDC, among others.

Provide, don't deprive. You are on the right track in emphasizing programs that support food security for children and families. Children who are given regular, reliable, and rewarding meals and snacks eat as much as they need and grow appropriately. On the other hand, children who fear going hungry eat as much as they can whenever they can and get fatter than nature intended them to be. But don't emphasize right and wrong foods. Stipulating "healthy" food is not part of the DOR. Expecting people to eat what they should rather than what they want creates a barrier to family meals. Instead, encourage family meals. When parents get the meal habit, sooner or later they get around to including fruits and vegetables.

Optimize feeding and parenting, and let children be children. Children are entitled to be free from worry about eating, moving, and weight. Once they establish the critically important structure of meals and snacks, adults must trust children to learn to eat the food they eat, eat as much as they need, and grow in the way that is genetically appropriate for them.

Copyright © 2010 by Ellyn Satter. Published at www.EllynSatter.com.