Too often, people who get organized with meals get caught in the food rules. How do broiled chicken breasts, steamed broccoli, and a baked potato sound to you? Probably not so tasty, because they are so low in fat. But how about broiled chicken breasts, baked potato with sour cream, and raw broccoli with Ranch dressing? Fat makes food taste better and keeps you from getting hungry right away.

For most of us, virtue is not sustainable. Virtue is low-fat, low-salt, low-sugar everything. Virtue is eating vegetables and whole grains because they are good for you, not because you like them. Some adults can be consistently virtuous about their eating. The rest of us sneak off for rewards or relief. We find ourselves periodically loading up on the very foods we have been avoiding. If you are feeding children, being virtuous with food simply doesn't work. Children eat food that tastes good, not what is good for them. They depend on fat in food to make it appealing and to get enough calories.

If you can sustain virtue, go for it! It is your business how you eat. But if you are feeding a child, or if you are sneaking off to escape from your virtue, chill out. Reintroduce pleasure and sustainability. Drop back to level four, three, or two.

Instead of being so careful about what you eat, why not put your creativity and energy into getting organized with cooking, planning and shopping.

For more about family meals (and for research backing up this advice), see Ellyn Satter's Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook, Kelcy Press, 2008. Also see www.EllynSatter.com to purchase books and to review other resources.