Everybody does better with family meals. To get started with family meals, change the how first; think about the what later-lots later. Make meals your idea - don't just offer them when somebody else wants something to eat.

Here is how to get started:

• Eat what you are eating now. Just have it at regular meal- and snack-times.
• Round up the family to eat together.
• Let your child decide what and how much to eat from what is on the table.
• Make mealtimes pleasant. Talk and enjoy each other. Don't scold or fight.

Yes, I really mean it.

That really says eat what you are eating now. Choose food you enjoy. To keep up the work of family meals, you need to enjoy the food. Don't let anybody put your food on a ''bad'' list. You like what you like. To feed yourself well, you need to feel good about it. Pizza makes a fine meal, so do chicken nuggets and French fries. Just have them at mealtime and all sit down together to share them. Put the lunch meat, bread, and mayonnaise on the table, and make your sandwiches together. Throw in some milk and you have a meal. If the shock of drinking milk is too great, drink what you are drinking now.

Take your time. Getting the meal habit takes a while. Remember, you don't have to make grandmother's fried chicken and all the trimmings. We are talking about structure - and structure - and structure. A meal is a meal if you all sit down together and share the same food.

Are you ready to move on? Consider Step Three: Add On, Don't Take Away .

Too elementary for you? Consider Step Four: Do Family Friendly Feeding .

For more about family meals (and for research backing up this advice), see Ellyn Satter's Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook, Kelcy Press, 2008. Also see www.EllynSatter.com to purchase books and to review other resources.