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Authoritative parenting has long been demonstrated to be superior with respect to raising socially and emotionally functional children.^1,2 Authoritative parenting correlates with lower incidence of child overweight in first-grade children, with only 3.9% of children of authoritative parents being overweight, compared to 9.8% of children of permissive parents, 9.9% of children of neglectful parents, and 17.1% of children of authoritarian parents.³

Patterns of parenting^1,2

There are four different parenting patterns, depending on how you combine the elements of taking leadership and giving autonomy.

Authoritative: Parents have clear standards of expected behavior, maintain consistent, effective discipline, and express their points of view. They also encourage the child’s independence and individuality by listening to his point of view. Their children are positive, self-confident, high-achievers who do well with others.

Authoritarian: Parents lay down the law, expect unquestioning compliance, and don’t talk and listen. They don’t discuss rules in advance, let children express their opinions, or let children make decisions about their lives. Their children are obedient, but not spontaneous, affectionate, curious, or creative. They have trouble expressing their needs and working things out with others and therefore tend to be distrustful and socially withdrawn.

Permissive or indulgent: Parents have few rules or expectations, they don’t directly guide their children’s behavior, avoid exerting their authority, and don’t impose controls or restrictions. They overlook the child’s negative behavior until the child goes too far, then they become highly critical. Their children tend to be unhappy, are lacking in self-reliance and self control, and don’t take responsibility.

Neglectful: Parents are indifferent, remote and uninvolved. They provide neither rules nor support. Their children are frightened and lonely and have serious cognitive, emotional, behavioral, and often medical problems.

Patterns of parenting with feeding

Parents feed authoritatively when they 1) observe and understand their child and 2) do their feeding jobs and let their child do her eating jobs.⁴ The newly released Feeding with Love and Good Sense Parent Teaching Package explains and demonstrates patterns of parenting with feeding and the impact on the child. According to the Satter Feeding Dynamics Model (fdSatter), feeding according to a division of responsibility provides both leadership and autonomy and is authoritative parenting.⁵ In fdSatter, expectation for self mastery becomes leadership; sensitivity becomes autonomy.

In taking leadership with feeding, the parent expects and assumes that the child will work toward self-mastery - that s/he will gain eating competence.^6,7 That is, s/he will retain positive attitudes about eating and about food, learn to behave appropriately at meals, pick and choose from food that parents make available, eat as much or as little as s/he needs, and learn to enjoy the food that parents eat. In giving the child autonomy with the how much and whether of eating, the parent is sensitive to and respectful of the child’s own drive to learn and grow as well as the child’s own preferences and needs. Parents who give a child autonomy remain connected. They let the child be independent and self directing within the context that they provide, and at the same time remain warm and attentive to the child.

The take home message: If you are a nutrition or health professional, don’t try to teach parenting. You don’t have the training, and you could do more harm than good. But if you study and learn authoritative, evidence-based feeding practice according to fdSatter,^8-11 you can teach feeding. On their own, parents often apply feeding principles to parenting overall. If you are a mental health professional, learn recommended feeding practice. Then consider entering families via their parenting with feeding. It is vague and overwhelming to address parenting to improve a child’s low self esteem, anxiety, or depression. Helping parents do a good job with feeding, on the other hand, is concrete, practical, and achievable.

References

1. Maccoby EE, Martin JA. Socialization in the context of the family: parent-child interaction. In: Mussen PHe, ed. Handbook of Child Psychology. New York, NY: Wiley; 1983:1-101.

2. Baumrind D. Current patterns of parental authority. Developmental Psychology Monograph. 1971;4(1 pt.2):1-103.

3. Rhee KE, Lumeng JC, Appugliese DP, Kaciroti N, Bradley RH. Parenting styles and overweight status in first grade. Pediatrics. 2006;117:2047-2054.

4. Ellyn Satter’s Feeding with Love and Good Sense II: Parent Teaching Package. Madison, WI: Ellyn Satter Associates;2011.

5. Satter E. The Satter Feeding Dynamics Model of child overweight definition, prevention and intervention. In: O'Donahue W, Moore BA, Scott B, eds. Pediatric and Adolescent Obesity Treatment: A Comprehensive Handbook. New York: Taylor and Francis; 2007:287-314.

6. Satter EM. Part 1, How to Eat. Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook. Madison, WI: Kelcy Press; 2008:7-51.

7. Satter EM. Eating Competence: definition and evidence for the Satter Eating Competence Model. J Nutr Educ Behav. 2007;39 (suppl):S142-S153.

8. Feeding with Love and Good Sense II: DVD Series by Ellyn Satter. Madison, WI Ellyn Satter Associates;2011.

9. Satter EM. Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook. Madison, WI: Kelcy Press; 2008.

10. Satter EM. Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming. Madison, WI: Kelcy Press; 2005.

11. Satter EM. Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense. Palo Alto: Bull Publishing; 2000.