Some children eat a lot, others not so much. Some children who don't eat much are still relatively heavy. All children know how much they need to eat in order to grow in the way nature intended for them. Some children are big, others are small. As long as your child's weight follows close to the same percentile on the growth curve, she is growing well. On the other hand, if your child's weight percentiles are going up, she may be getting bigger than nature intended. If a child eats too much and grows too fast, it is essential to take a look at feeding.

For either the big child growing consistently or the child of any size gaining too much weight, the solutions are the same: maintain a division of responsibility in feeding, keep your nerve, and let her eat and grow her way. Do not hold back on food or try to restrict your child to smaller portions or low-fat, low-sugar food. She will get scared and eat too much when she gets the chance. Don't feed her differently from other family members. It will hurt her feelings. Instead, feed in the best way for her stage of development.

• Get started with family meals, if you aren't having them already. Have you child join in with family meals and sit-down snacks at set times.
• Don't let her have food or drinks between times, except for water.
• Have the same meal for everyone. Include high-fat, low-fat and no-fat food.
• Include ''forbidden'' foods at meals and snacks. Trying to restrict those foods will make her eat more of them in the long run.
• When in doubt, ask yourself, ''how would I feed her if I weren't worried about her weight?''

For more about raising children who eat as much as they need and get bodies that are right for them (and for research backing up this advice), see Ellyn Satter's Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming, Kelcy Press, 2005. Also see www.EllynSatter.com to purchase books and to review other resources.